Believe your Beliefs, Doubt your Doubts

“Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you...”
-Jesus to Paul, Acts 18:9

I was influenced deeply in my faith by the work of the late Dallas Willard. Willard was a scholar and philosophy professor at the University of Southern California for many years, as well as a spiritual formation writer about Christian discipleship. His work on the nature of God and helping people engage with the philosophical questions, "What is the good life?" and "Who are you going to become?" helped an entire generation move toward Jesus. 

Late in his life, he was interviewed by a well-known pastor during a series entitled, "Can smart people believe in God?"

He was being asked about the value of doubt, and he spoke at length about the way that doubt actually opens up spaces to receive new answers and ask great questions. But it's what he finished the conversation with that is particularly interesting to me today. He was talking about the temptation to sit in permanent doubt that no longer pushes you toward growth. And he said, 

"Now, if you're going to be a doubter, be sure to doubt your doubts as well as your beliefs.... we're taught in our culture to think that a person who doubts is essentially smarter than a person who believes, but you can be as dumb as a cabbage and still say, 'Why....?' See, our culture is set up on that. 
Well, maybe not dumb as a cabbage…you’d need lips. But we want to say, 'Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts as well as doubt your beliefs and believe your doubts.' See, you go the whole round, and you keep that going." 

Some of us have asked hard questions over the years. Some of us have deconstructed our faith and we're wondering what's next. Some of us aren't sure what to do with our faith when we see so many holes or don't particularly feel God very much. 

In contrast to certain Christian opinions, I actually think these are all healthy and necessary realities in our growth as followers of Jesus. 
But with that said.... 

Is it possible that it might be time for some of us to doubt our doubts and believe our beliefs a bit more? Perhaps God is waiting for us in a new way now that we've done the work. Maybe it's the right time to make the choice to live a day full of faith and pause our cynicism? 

This is on my mind because I've been teaching from the book of Acts lately. And although it's known as "The Acts of the Apostles," the truth is that it's really about the Acts of the Holy Spirit. Throughout the entire book the leaders of the early Church are listening for the Holy Spirit, going this way or that because the Spirit says they should or shouldn't. It's amazing. Every day they live in expectation that Jesus will direct them and open the right doors for their message of Good News. 

These are not easy messages for me to preach today. It's easier for me to look at things with a that-was-then-and-this-is-now assumption that makes me question if the Spirit is active like that anymore. I admit that many days I doubt it. 

But you know what I'm fairly certain of? That if I'm quietly assuming God won't speak or move throughout my day, then I definitely won't notice if the Spirit does show up. 
And on the flip side: If I'm living in expectation that God will show up throughout the day to bring encouragement, to strengthen me in hard moments, and to open doors for me to love others in the way of Jesus... well, if I'm looking for the Spirit, then I'm not going to miss her when she comes (or he comes. Or they come.) 

Those of us who are doubting people ought to doubt our doubts regularly. It might be what we need again to open us up to a God who is living and active. And when you consider your beliefs — give yourself a chance to actually believe them and see what happens. You might notice in a new way that beyond the often ugly exterior of our Christian history, there is also a through-line of faithful Christians of authentic belief. You might notice that if you live like Jesus was actually serious about all he said, that your world gets deeper internally and wider relationally at the same time, with little glimpses of God's presence and opportunity for love and connection at every corner. You might just start believing that God’s presence can change your life forever. 

Anyway, today's thoughts are a bit free-flowing. But beyond all the wordplay, I want to encourage you to live today expecting that Jesus is actively involved in your world: bringing strength, energy, redemption, and compassion to you, for the sake of those around you. So don't be so surprised when it happens.

Be hopeful today, friends. The author of love is with you. 

Jesus, give me the gift of living in faith today. 

Peace,
Keith


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*My amazing congregation at LifePath gives me a “May Break” each year to step back from my teaching and day-to-day responsibilities for 4 Sundays. I’ll be doing a little travel, reading, and planning. So no promises on what the next weeks hold. If I do choose to write, I plan to share very simple creative thoughts. Thanks!