Breaking Open

“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day.”
—Ephesians 4:26

My teenage daughter doesn’t throw things in anger very often. But a little over a year ago, while on a family sabbatical trip to Puerto Rico, there was an incident. It involves a coconut. The traumatic story I am about to tell is shared with her permission.

We had so much fun enjoying the island and exploring new places as a family. At one of the beaches, Sariya picked up a coconut that she found in the sand and decided she wanted to take it back to our rental house to open and enjoy.

We got back to the house and found that we didn’t really have the right tools to crack open a coconut. But she found one of those bottle/can opener sticks with a blunt triangular end that you should NEVER use to carve into a coconut. Naturally, that became her tool. She tore the outside leather layer with her hands. She scraped and ripped and stabbed this thing for hours and hours and hours. Day turned to night. Night turned to day. Time became meaningless. Every time we hung out at the house, she kept at it—but to no avail. A mighty fortress, that coconut was.

The joy was gone, and frustration began to build. We even told her multiple times to just give up and admit defeat. But she would not go gently into that good night. 

Then, while sitting inside, we heard a yell from the porch. I assumed she had finally lost a finger. But she came running inside, each hand holding a large piece of coconut!

“Mom, I threw it in anger and it cracked open!”

For the next few days, we enjoyed eating the sweet and smooth shavings of a freshly opened coconut. It was delicious.

Anger is fascinating. Sometimes those who access it the most shouldn’t be allowed to have access to it, and the ones who push it down the most are the ones who need to give it a little bit more space to rise up in their lives.

In this moment, I think God is wanting to form us in the midst of a collective, growing anger in response to systemic injustice and evil that is deeply harming others. The most vulnerable in our midst right now are being targeted in all sorts of ways. Many people I know who have worked hard all their lives have lost their jobs with the stroke of a pen and no warning. Friends are looked at with fresh suspicion simply because they don’t look like others or because they speak with an accent. And the empire is fanning these flames of hatred. It makes my blood boil.

Anger can be many things: a selfish indulgence, a scapegoat, a release valve… We can do so much harm with it. Anger can burn out of control, eliminating the impact that we can have on the world by turning us into people who lack the capacity to love deeply and think clearly. We must never do this. This is sin.

But sometimes it can be a warning light… or even an invitation… within our souls. Sometimes, giving voice to anger can break open something in us. And when it does, we find out what is inside, and we discover whether it will benefit others or simply harm them. This is why soul formation is so crucial in the life of a disciple of Jesus.

I am afraid of my anger. I have been all my life. But there’s something holy about a certain type of anger that forces us to move and breaks open compassion in us that we couldn’t access before. It breaks open courage to speak boldly and offer our hands and feet to the work of justice when people are deprived of it.

For me, I get angry when I see people being mistreated or mocked. When I see someone dismiss someone else’s real suffering just so they can maintain their own sense of comfort. But I often don’t know what to do with that anger, so I just push it down and move on, without acting differently.

But then there are rare moments when my anger actually breaks open something in me that causes me to act—to make a move when I wouldn’t otherwise. The move, of course, can never be to harm. It must be to repair, to restore, and to make the world more whole. To call a representative. To open my home for hospitality. To give money away. To pray. To cry. To speak truth to power. To reach out.

In order to walk this road, we must be aware of what is happening within us and why. We must learn what is cracking open, and we must always be doing the work to make sure that when the coconut does break, it’s got good fruit inside.

Are you willing to be broken open? Are you doing the work in your soul so that when you do, good fruit comes out?

Jesus, be with us on the hard journey of faithfulness.

Peace,
Keith

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