Buried Fire

Don’t let the sun set on your anger. Don’t provide an opportunity for the devil.
-Ephesians 4:26b-27


Ok friends, let's reflect today on a foundational concept of discipleship: learning to release the things that poison our spirits and hinder our relationships. Let's talk about the spiritual virus of resentment. 

I love making campfires. Every now and then when I'm backcountry camping (legally OF COURSE) I'll make a small fire for comfort and atmosphere. When it's time to pack up, it's really important to put the fire out well. Somewhere along the line I was given the impression that you could put a fire out by burying it with dirt.  Do not do this, friends. 

Putting some dirt or sand on top of a fire may get rid of the flames and give the appearance of extinguishing it. But in reality, it's not put out at all. In fact, the heat becomes insulated. Rather than the fire being put out, the embers just become hidden. And although there's less oxygen, that allows it to actually burn slower, insulating the coals and allowing them to smolder for hours or days. This can eventually cause roots to start smoldering, working their way up to re-igniting on the surface and doing a ton of damage. Yeah. It's a vivid image, isn't it? 

Resentment can settle in the heart and damage everything it touches. When we don't deal with our anger or our frustration, but just try to cover it up and ignore it, it stays alive. It's not often loud and fiery. It's personal, and it can even be hidden. But it continues to smolder. And it infects the very roots of our souls. You either know it because you've seen it, or because you've felt it. Something happens that makes you angry- perhaps legitimately, perhaps not. And you dwell on it over and over. And it sinks deeper. And gradually, there are more and more things that you are negative about. And, without realizing it, you've moved from feeling angry to being a resentful person. 

It went underground, and it started burning roots.

Much of our anger these days is well founded. Anger hits us as a result of injustice in the world, the reality of suffering, or the impact of lies in our society. That makes sense. It even aligns with the sort of convictions that Jesus walked in. And when we've been personally harmed or devalued, our anger is certainly valid as well. 

But resentment grows when those feelings are not processed in healthy ways. It grows particularly well in the isolated mind, where narratives of despair and frustration play on repeat in our heads. They may be about others, they may be about the world, or they may even be about ourselves.

It went underground, and it started burning roots.

This is why the scriptures invite us to practice confession and forgiveness in the open air of community. And it's why we see the Psalmist shaking his fist at the universe and screaming "what the heck is going on, GOD??" (that's a paraphrase). When we get things out in the open, they won't burn us slowly at the root and destroy us. Instead, we'll be invited to release those feelings to God, and to let the truth of Jesus move us to see through a lens of hope. And when we process our feelings with others, we'll get a glimpse of tangible love in front of us. And that reminds us that our ever-growing story about how horrible the world is... is not the whole story. Because we're the world too, after all. 

I'm convinced that the anger and despair in the world right now is too much for us to bear. It must be extinguished by the cool and refreshing water of the Holy Spirit, and poured onto us by the hands of compassionate community. When our anger is plunged underneath the waters of baptism, the burning finally cools. 

So today is a chance for a simple check-in, as you consider people and situations that have been making you upset. Are there areas where your anger has sunk deep, and you feel it damaging your roots? 
Take a few moments for an examination of your narratives:
Am I repeating a negative story over and over? What might be the reason? 
Am I assuming the intentions of others that I don't actually know? 
Is there a way I can use my mental/physical energy to practice goodness and healing, rather than endlessly dwelling on all that's wrong?
What good and beautiful things are true today that I've overlooked? 
Who do I need to forgive again today? 
What do I need to release today? 

I've been mentioning Lent every week. Lent is where we admit that we need God's grace in our weakness, and where we receive it. So breathe. And receive God's grace once more. 

Beloved, every time we realize how much God loves us, a wonderful thing happens. And the thing that happens is that God starts rubbing off on us, and we start to become more grace-filled to the world around us. Don't believe me? Make a little more space to dwell on your own belovedness, and see if it doesn't slowly start to shape you back into a more loving person to others. Transformation knows no other way. 

Your frustration is valid. Your losses are real. And life can be discouraging. But Jesus is eager to offer cool, living water in those moments. Water that refreshes the soul, energizes the body, and cools the coals. That's a better way to deal with fire, any day. 

Jesus, reset my nervous system today with reminders of your unending love for the world, of which I am a part. 

Peace, 
Keith