Community Pain

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
- Galatians 6:2

Last month our family was watching a National Geographic documentary called Limitless. Actor Chris Hemsworth (most famous for being Thor) explores what it means to continue to grow as he ages, and he takes on various experiences that challenge his mind and body in new ways. 

In an episode entitled "Pain," it is revealed that although Hemsworth has made a living through physical acting roles, he has actually dealt with severe chronic back pain for many years. Sometimes it's debilitating. So the episode explores how we view pain, how we manage it, and what shapes our experience of it. 

I found one section particularly fascinating. It revealed that how we experience the same pain can actually be quite different based on our mindset and who is around us. 

In a room alone, Hemsworth was hooked up to an electric shock pad attached to his stomach. As the intensity was slowly turned up, he was told to tap out when he couldn't stand it anymore. It was harder than he thought. At level three, he reached his limit. 

Then they changed the experiment. Hemsworth was allowed to invite two of his friends into the same experiment, except this time they would all be in the same room. And not only that, but as the shocks were intensifying, they were given a game of Jenga to play together. 

The results were hilarious. There was a lot of shouting, a lot of laughter, and some very precarious moments with the Jenga tower as each man tried to remove pieces while also doubling over in pain. Why on earth is this stuff so funny to watch? We are horrible people.

But the end result was actually the opposite of delighting in another's pain. When Hemsworth finally tapped out, laughing and screaming at the same time, the results were tallied. 

Alone, he reached his limit at level three. 
With his friends across the table, he tapped out at level fifteen. 

What a glimpse into the power of community. Hemsworth and his friends laughed together. Sure, they distracted each other too. But they shared the pain, and they were able to bear far more of it before it broke them. Their very experience of pain was transformed. 

The director of the experiment, palliative expert Dr. BJ Miller, explained that as social beings, it's clear that we can share pain and draw strength and support from people around us. He also mentioned that we can amplify pain. "We can draw scorn and shame and embarrassment from people around us too. It goes both directions."

What power we have in each other's lives. And what opportunity, if used for good. God did not create us to suffer in silence. We were never made to experience pain alone.

As a disciple of Jesus, numerous things jump out at me. The first is that as Jesus embraces the world's pain on the cross, he is sharing in our sufferings and changing our experience of it on a mystical, profound level. Conversely, when we suffer, in another mysterious way we relate with Jesus in his suffering (1 Peter 4:13). This can deepen our connection with him and bring strength and perseverance. In the New Testament, this is especially emphasized when our pain comes from rejection or isolation as we seek to follow Jesus faithfully). 

But it goes beyond this. Jesus has also given us a community that is intended to transform how we experience pain. Instead of someone carrying an unbearable, crushing weight, we are called to get underneath it and bear it together. So every time that we suffer in silence or isolation, we miss out on the gift of community, and we reach our breaking point far earlier. We need each other. We need to learn vulnerability. We need to learn gentle presence. 

And when there is deep pain, the gift of community can even bring lightness and laughter to help get through it. It's beautiful. 

This is the gift of not suffering alone. It changes our pain tolerance. 

Pain is a part of life--chronic, emotional, psychological, physical. But isolation does not need to be a part of that life. In learning to follow Jesus in community, we laugh, cry, support, commiserate, and bear with one another. Because life is hard. But somehow, God's goodness remains available, even in the pain. Thanks to God that Jesus has given us each other.

Lord, give me courage for vulnerability, and give those around me enough love to welcome it. 

Peace,
Keith