![]() “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” -Jesus (Matthew 16:15) I'm currently enrolled in an eight week course that is training me as a coach. It's not training me for coaching sports teams (I do that), but for helping people in their personal growth. I've worked with people in this capacity for years in pastoring, but this is the deepest dive I've ever done as a learner. And it's wonderful to see things in a fresh light. There is so much to be learned in life, if we keep our eyes open. One of the primary goals of the program is to form coaches who are skilled at asking the right questions. The idea behind this is that we are each the greatest expert on our own lives. Most often, the way that we are transformed is not through getting advice from someone else, but by realizing something within ourselves. Similarly, the best way to be moved to action is not by being told what to do, but for us to answer for ourselves what we are sensing is the right next step. That doesn't mean we get there alone. It happens most often when we are asked questions that draw us into the deep places. We need people who are curious about us so that we can be curious about ourselves, with a shared ear to the Holy Spirit. And that is exactly what happens when we sit with a well-asked question (and a gentle questioner). Jesus knew this. He was a master question-asker. Asking questions was a primary way for Jewish rabbis to communicate deep truths, and Jesus was extraordinary at it. His questions invited people to search their own mind and heart, exploring what was under the surface. He had such a curiosity about people, and when they came to him to get a direct answer, he often refused to offer it to them. Instead, he invited them to think more deeply about what was within them. “Why do you worry?” (Matt 6:28), “Why are you so afraid?” (Matt 8:26), “Why do you harbor evil thoughts?” (Matt 9:4), “Who do you say that I am?” (Matt 16:15), “What are you looking for? (John 1:38), and "What do you want me to do for you?" (Mark 10:51). These questions aren't ones that can be quickly answered, nor are they intended to be rhetorical. They are invitations to dive deeply into the motivations, mindsets, and methods for pursuing the good life. I find that far too often I don't allow myself to sit quietly with God and a good question. And equally often, I want to help others so much that when they share challenges with me, I'm quickly trying to think of a helpful solution to offer. In doing so, I risk not listening well. I risk bypassing the Holy Spirit. And I risk assuming that I'm the expert on someone else's life. There are certainly times to share insights, skills, and information with others. But the fact remains that our question-asking muscle is pretty weak without regular training. So this week, I'm inviting you into a two-fold discipleship practice. First, let Jesus be curious about you. He already is. Sit with a question or two that Jesus asks in the gospels, and do some journaling or reflection about your response, and why. Invite Jesus to meet you in the conversation and walk with you in fresh ways. Secondly, take some new steps to be curious about those around you. Choose to ask meaningful questions rather than talking about yourself or sharing your opinion. Use Jesus as your example to show genuine interest in the people you encounter. And if someone shares a struggle or a decision they are trying to figure out, offer your care by asking a deep question. You may just find that God uses you not through your amazing insights or opinions, but through the Spirit's presence in and through your own. Jesus, help me live in a reflective way today, curious about how you are working within me, and in the lives around me. Peace, Keith
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